Spring 2018

Afraid of Parties

Joshua Acevedo

 

I’m at a party full of people I don’t know very well
Should I leave, or stay in fear
People crowd closer around me, raising their voices
The walls feel as if they are closing in
I feel each breath falling down my neck

A girl smiles at me, I grin back and wave
Was that the correct response?
Why am I so awkward?

I stare into my designated driver’s eyes
As she shotguns her third or fourth beer of the night
Fuck, I sighed, now I’m stuck here
People pop pills next to me
The music gets louder, and LOUDER, AND LOUDER

I hear a girl scream “Shots!”
She pulls me to the table and hands me a shot glass full of cheap vodka
Vodka. A poison that instilled a plague in my mind.
Vodka. A destructive force that ruined some of my closest friendships.
Vodka. A drink that turns me into an egotistical prick.

Still, I stand and throw the poison back
And it burns on its way down. I take a breath.
Maybe five more and I will actually enjoy the party.


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