When I first heard that,
I thought that’s how I felt about you.
I wished I could make you feel that hurt too
I wish I could take you and break you
And leave your soul bruised
Implant a memory in your brain
That stings and burns and rots like my memory of you.
But I don’t want that.
I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy,
Not even you.
Nobody should have to live with that.
Yet here I am, one of the millions of
Living with that.
Living with that.
What do I wish?
I wish you would get it
I wish that you wore a women’s size 7
So you could wear mine for a minute.
I wish you could feel scared of it
Happening to you
Like it happened to me.
Maybe then you will get it
I wish you could wake up the morning after
And look in the mirror and see emptiness.
Feel numbness inside of you.
I wish you could feel nothing at all
And everything in the world at the same damn time.
I want you to feel that
I want to you feel static vibrate through your bones
And hear a constant ringing in your brain
Because that is better than the pain
That you gave to me
That you can’t take back
I wish you could feel how it feels
To live as a fly on the wall in your own storyline.
To detach from your body and flatline
To watch everything happened on a continuous loop,
Replaying every time you sleep.
Every time you close your eyes.
Every time you are alone.
Every time you are on a date.
Every time you swipe right.
I wish you could feel powerless.
I wish your soul would melt
And evaporate out of you into the air.
I wish your soul would get picked up in a windstorm
And get spun until it becomes slush.
And the only lasting memory that you have is of what happened you
I wish it ruined your favorite TV show.
I wish it ruined your favorite songs.
I wish it ruined your favorite movies.
I wish you would almost have to leave the theater
Because what happened to you is happening on the screen
But you don’t wanna get up and leave
Because you’re afraid that you’re just gonna make a scene
And that nobody will come running after you
And comfort you when you leave
I was just another one night stand to you
Just another pair of legs and two hands to you
That you’d hit again if you had the chance to
Because I didn’t mean that much to you
That night, the night that it happened,
Was just another night for you.
But, I think about it nearly every day
because that night wasn’t just another night for me, thanks to you